Save Yourself. Why Self-Leadership Is the Essential Success Tool

No one is coming to save you.

No mentor, no program, no video, no paycheck, and no miracle solution is going to carry you to the life you want if you’re not showing up to lead yourself through the work of manifesting.

This is the life lesson I keep circling back to over and over: Success is an inside job; and it requires a strong leader at the helm.

If I want to lose 20 pounds and get stronger, I don’t need the ‘right’ personal trainer. I need a strong, grounded me– the me who is willing to follow through on the plan, to show up to my workouts, eat the meals (in the right quantities), and stay present when the old patterns of thinking and behaving attempt to derail my plans.

If I want to make more money, I don’t need a better job or a more favorable economy. I need the kind of self leadership that can hold the vision, create the structure, work the damned plan, and adapt as needed.

Self-leadership does NOT mean I have to do it alone, but I do have to stand up and LEAD MYSELF.

None of this works without a baseline of respect– not just for the goal, but for myself as the one pursuing it.

If I don’t respect myself, I won’t trust myself. And if I don’t trust myself, there will always be sabotage waiting in the wings. For example, I’ll ignore my plans, delay my commitments, and I’ll abandon the path as soon as it gets uncomfortable because I don’t think I’m worthy of success in the first place.

Self-leadership requires self-love and self-trust.

I’ve gotta believe that I’m someone worth listening to, worth investing in and worth following and showing up for. This is SOOOO important.

But being a good leader requires a great support structure. So, I have a business mentor, a 12-step sponsor, a physical therapist, and a nutritionist. Each one of them helps me stay focused on a different part of the whole. They help me course-correct, reflect, and move forward with the perspective that can only come from OUTSIDE myself. I need this!

Your inner leader also needs great tools. I rely heavily on my calendar for appointments and my daily structure. I write down and time block my projects, meals, workouts, meditation, Artist’s Days, and even my dog walk.

I use alarms and timers to stay on task. I keep a journal to organize my ideas and thoughts, and to articulate my philosophy. I use Google Suite, a food scale, spreadsheets, and anything else that helps me stay clear and consistent.

Trying to lead myself without mentorship and tools would be like trying to run a company without staff or systems. Effort alone doesn’t cut it. Self-leadership requires infrastructure.

And look, here’s what’s probably the most important thing to understand. My inner leader isn’t leading just one mind. There are many, many laters to who I am. It’s crazy up in here!

— I have a thinking mind that wants logic and control. This me loves to figure shit out.

— My emotions are CRAY. They are unpredictable and often in conflict with my plans.

— I have goals and ambitions that are clear one day, and then blurry the next.

— I have a Soul that knows its mission (even when I don’t.) And my Higher Self is always trying to point me toward alignment.

Self-leadershp, for me, means learning how to coordinate all these parts, listen to them without being ruled by them, and make decisions from a place of inner authority. It means staying connected to the core direction, even when the terrain shifts.

One of the most important realizations I’ve had is that being a leader does NOT mean that I have control. NOPE.

I cannot guarantee the outcome.

I can direct my energy, take aligned action, stoke my desires, and stay the course. But I CANNOT control the timeline, circumstances, or final result.

This used to be totally discouraging for me, but now, it feels like freedom.

I get to focus on how I show up and just let the rest unfold.

Look, I’m still learning what it means to lead myself. Some days I nail that shit. And other days, things fall absolutely apart. But I come back to this truth again and again: No one is going to save me.

If I want to live my vision in my body, my business, my relationships, and my spirituality… I have to be the one who leads myself toward it.