The Warrior Needs Rest Too: Why Boundaries Are Sacred, Not Selfish

One of the hardest things for many women I work with to internalize is this: you are allowed to need rest. More than that — you are required to rest if you’re going to fulfill your calling.

Most of the women drawn to coaching aren’t just kind or empathetic. They’re fierce.

They fight for their families, speak up in meetings, and hold their shit together in hard seasons. They know how to survive and how to help others survive, too. They’ve become so used to carrying the emotional weight of others that they don’t even recognize it as weight anymore. It’s just normal.

These are the women I think of as warriors in the real-world, get-it-done-every-day sense. They fight for what’s right. They don’t sit back and hope things get better. If someone is hurting, they show up. If something needs to be done, they handle it. And if no one else is stepping up, they will —most likely without complaint.

But there’s a quiet cost to being this kind of woman.

When you’re always available, always solving problems, always managing other people’s needs, there’s not much space left for your own. And over time, that becomes a problem. Not just because it’s exhausting — but because it slowly disconnects you from your own priorities.

I see this in women who want to become life coaches but can’t seem to move the dream forward. And it’s not because they don’t want it badly enough. I hate it when other coaches say that kind of thing.

What I’ve found is that they’ve built a life where they are responsible for everything and everyone — and carving out time for themselves feels disruptive, even dangerous. For many of them, rest feels like weakness. Boundaries feel like betrayal.

But here’s the truth: the women who are most called to serve are also the ones who need the clearest boundaries. Not because they’re fragile, but because they’re proactive– and that’s power.

Power without boundaries becomes burnout.

Part of the work, especially for the woman stepping into coaching, is learning to see her own healing and restoration as part of the service she offers the world. A depleted coach can’t hold space for anyone. A tired, resentful mother isn’t helping her kids grow. Just like a woman who has no energy left at the end of the day can’t build a business, lead a conversation, or write a book — no matter how strong her calling is.

This is why I believe so strongly in the link between boundaries and purpose.

The coaching path doesn’t just give her tools to help others. It gives her a reason — and the structure — to finally put herself on the list.

It invites her to stop treating her purpose like a luxury and start treating it like a responsibility.

And, it allows her to begin living as if her voice matters, her time matters, and her rest matters — because it does. It’s a cliché, but you put that oxygen mask on yourself first and THEN you put it on the child. Why? Because you’re the HBIC, Babes, and you’ve got a job to do.

Coaching isn’t just a path of service. For many women, it’s the first time they’ve had permission to prioritize themselves without apology.

That’s not selfish. That’s LEADERSHIP.

And in the long run, it’s how she becomes the kind of guide she’s meant to be… And at the same time, she develops the wisdom of self-love and self-care.  She finally learns to protect her energy as fiercely as she’s always protected everyone else.

Feeling the pull to become a coach but not sure what your next step is? Take the “Life Coach Readiness Quiz” — it’s designed to help you understand where you are on your path and what it’s time to prioritize. You’ll get a customized result that reflects your current level of readiness, plus a clear next step to move forward with confidence.