There’s a lot of talk in the coaching industry about skills — active listening, powerful questions, goal-setting frameworks, mindset work. All of those are important. But none of them matter if you haven’t done your own inner work.
That might sound harsh. But in my experience, it’s true.
If you want to coach people in a real and meaningful way — especially when it comes to transformation, healing, and growth — you can’t skip your own healing process. You can’t guide others through things you’ve never faced yourself. Not with integrity. And not without doing damage.
Here’s what I’ve seen over and over again:
Many women who feel called to coaching are already the “go-to” person for emotional support in their families or communities. They’re natural guides. People trust them. But there’s a difference between being naturally gifted and being professionally prepared. The women who go on to build sustainable coaching practices — and actually help people — are the ones who know how to turn inward as often as they turn outward.
Doing your own healing doesn’t mean having a perfect past or never getting triggered. It means you’ve made a conscious choice to face your own patterns — the ones that live in your body, your nervous system, your thoughts, and your relationships. It means you’ve spent time understanding your own story so that your client’s pain doesn’t become an unconscious mirror for your own.
If you’re still trying to prove your worth, or fix others to avoid fixing yourself, or stay in control so you don’t have to feel vulnerable — it’s going to show up in your coaching. It might look like over-giving. Or rescuing. Or avoiding hard conversations. Or confusing intuition with fear. It happens quietly, but it matters.
One of the most powerful things you can offer your clients is your presence — grounded, clear, non-reactive. And that presence only comes from doing your own work. From sitting with your own grief. From learning how to regulate your own emotions. From understanding your own defenses and blind spots.
That’s not a one-time thing. It’s an ongoing commitment. A rhythm. A personal practice that lives behind the scenes of your coaching business.
This is why I believe that training alone isn’t enough. You can’t learn this work in a vacuum. You need mentorship. You need reflection. You need time to engage with your own process so you can hold space for someone else’s.
The women I work with are often surprised by how much their lives change when they say yes to coaching — not just because they’re learning how to help others, but because they’re finally making time to help themselves.
It’s essential, not selfish, my friend!
Why?
Because you can’t take people where you haven’t gone; you can’t hold others in their grief if you haven’t faced your own; and you can’t offer peace from a place of personal chaos.
If you want to become a powerful, ethical, spiritually grounded coach — start with your own healing. You don’t need to be PERFECT. NO. But you do need to be honest.
That’s what makes the difference.
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Hi there! My name is Crystal Lynn Bell and I am a Spiritual Empowerment Coach. I'm currently living in Paris, doing my coaching, writing my book, and studying French language and culture at the Sorbonne. I love Paris and I'm excited to be hosting a retreat here this winter called 
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