How To Change A Limiting Belief

Notes on the Process:
A belief is a thought you continue to think.

Understand that ‘reality’ is not fixed.  In order to manifest what your heart desires, your beliefs have to be on par with your desires.  The Universe is a reflection of your thoughts and your Core Beliefs.  This is alignment.

Step 1: Start with a hot topic or your emotional response to a situation.  For example, I am afraid of public speaking or public speaking is terrifying.

Step 2:  Keep in mind that your hot topic is usually an emotional response to a situation and that you may  need to do the Finding the Core Belief exercise to find the actual Core Belief. So, identify the Core Belief that is the root trigger of the emotional response.  Be sure to get to the most simple core belief while identifying emotional responses.  Use the Rooting Out the Core Belief exercise.

Step 3:  Identify the evidence that tells you that your Core Belief is true.  In other words, what makes this belief real?  How do you know this belief to be true?  In what ways does the world show you that your belief is true?

Step 4:  Determine if the core belief is beneficial or detrimental.

Step 5:  Identify the emotional benefits received from holding onto the Core Belief.  What are the emotional payoffs you receive by holding onto the Core Belief or your emotional response to the situation? How does this negative Core Belief serve you?  The emotional benefits received from holding onto your Core Belief act like superglue and make you a slave to the Core Belief.  You are not addicted to the Core Belief, you are addicted to the emotional benefit that you experience by holding onto the Core Belief.  The emotional benefit might be something like, “My fear of failure makes me stay in my comfort zone and not have to take any risks.”  It is very comforting to stay where you are and play life safe.  But of course, your heart is dying a slow and quiet death!  So is your passion.  “I get to be right.  I get to feel superior.”

Step 6:  Decide to change the Core Belief.  This requires commitment and dedication.  Feel the commitment and dedication in your body.  The red pill will take you down the rabbit hole and the blue pill will send you back into the matrix.

Step 7:  Decrease the strength of the emotional superglue that is holding the Core Belief in place by rethinking and reworking your emotional payoffs.  How can you enjoy the benefits without having a rigid and deeply rooted negative belief as the excuse for your emotional desires?  For example, what are some other ways that you can receive the same emotional benefit without holding onto the Core Belief?  How would taking a new, more powerful belief serve your emotional well-being and be more authentically beneficial to you (but not limiting or detrimental to you?)  The emotional connection that is tied into the evidence of the belief is like superglue.  It is this emotional connection that you have to the evidence of the problem in the world that is keeping you feeling safe and comfortable with the old belief. How can you get the positive emotional payoff without the negative Core Belief.  For example, “My fear of failure makes me stay in my comfort zone.  I like being comfortable.  Maybe I could learn how to be comfortable being uncomfortable.”  “I like receiving praise,”   Or “I get to enjoy feeling superior,” becomes, “I can receive praise without having a limiting belief.”

Step 8:  Create an alternative explanation for the old hot topic or emotional response to a situation.  See Step 1. Use your mind to help you reinterpret what you have experienced.  For example, if your hot topic was fear of public speaking, you could start to tell yourself something like, “There was a time when I was ashamed to be seen, but now I feel it is more important for me to share my message than it is to hide from the world.  My message is more important than my shame. I am going to learn how to speak in public!”

Step 9: Create a new powerful belief that feels realistic to you.  In other words, what are you going to believe instead of the original core belief. You can do this incrementally by starting off with a belief that feels better than the core belief; and simply build more and more powerful beliefs until you create one that feels awesome!

Step 10:  Create evidence of the new belief for yourselfin your own life.  Where do you thrive and succeed?  What do you do well?  It might be helpful to start from the old negative core belief and work backward.  For example, where in your life is your old negative core belief NOT true?  Where does your old negative belief fail to manifest?  Where have you been successful?  Where have you achieved?  Ask your loved ones to help you if you feel lost. If you can’t find it yourself, ask someone who sees the good in you to help you see yourself and your life through the eyes of your new Core Belief. Train your mind to focus on this.  This can also be like an Appreciation/Gratitude List.

Step 11:  Look for evidencein the Universeof your new belief.   Use your rational mind in a healthy way.  Send it out on a scavenger hunt to find evidence of your new belief.  You can use examples from other people or situations where you see someone thrive in spite of your Core Belief that says that it is impossible for them to thrive.

Step 12:  Reinforce your new Core Belief by taking actions, both big and small, from the space of that belief.  Read books, watch movies, attend social groups and mixers with people who mirror your new Core Belief to you.  Do things that inspire and amplify your Core Belief.  See your Core Belief expressed around you– in your home, in nature, at your work.  Find it and focus on it.  Do positive visualizations of yourself doing the thing you’ve always dreamed.  Feel it in your bones, feel it in your core.

Step 13:  Now create an affirmation that reinforces your new belief, and at the same time, focus on the evidence of the belief and affirmation in your life.  Align your life with your affirmation and speak your affirmation from your truth.  Make sure that when you create your affirmation that it is not in direct violation of any other negative Core Beliefs that you are holding.  For example, if you want to use the affirmation “I love unconditionally,”  you want to make sure that you are not harboring beliefs that are judgmental or conditional.  Try to not create unrealistic affirmations that don’t feel doable. When creating affirmations, you can incrementally step them up so that you feel authentic and sincere when using them.  You can try, for example, “I appreciate the love that is around me and I am open to experiencing love in new ways.”

Step 14:  Read this article:  Create a new neural pathway in your brain.  I like to use the following five steps to change a neural pathway:

  1. Awareness: Beceome aware of where your negative nerual pathway is dsirupating the flow of joy and excellence in your life.  Observe yourself from the inside and outside.  Keep a journal of things that are not working for you and see if you can start to piece together your patterns of response.  For example, if you have an issue with compulsive eating, you might start making notes in your journal throughout the day of when the urge to eat arose, what you were doing when it arose and how you felt emotionally.  You can also note the time.  This will give you deep insight about your compulsion and your brain activity.
  2. Decide to change the neural pathway.  The act of making a decision alignes you with the outcome you desire.  This is a Solar Plexus chakra activity.  The Solar Plexus chakra is responsible for your will and your volition.  It is the driver of desire.  When changing a neural pathway, you have to find the will to change (the desire to change) and then you have to make a choice:  change it or not.  Deciding to change a habit is pivotal step in getting you aligned with your desires.
  3. Make a plan.  The mind needs to have a set of rules laid out so that it can orient itself.  You don’t have to enforce the rules like a tyrant, but rather let the plan be there like a road map to help you get oriented with respect for your desire.  For example, if your neural pathway is established to reach for chocolate or candy when you feel stressed, you might want to have a plan that suggests walking away from the refrigerator, or going on a walk around the block when the feeling of stress arises.  You may want to hae a back-up plan that offers you a set of satisfying nutritious foods that can replace the sweet craving. Having such a plan in place before you find yourself in the middle of an anxiety episode would help you get grounded more quickly than if you are left to figure it out in the middle of the conflict.
  4. Personal motivation and personal inspiration:  Give yourself an added boost by listening to motivational talks and watching motivational videos.  Read books that inspire you and as you’re reading, get into the habit of affirming that you desire that success.  Notice when you feel doubt and do your Shadow Work to alleviate the concern.  You can also use vision boards to give you a point of focus during those times when you feel weak to encourage you to move forward, and when you feel strong to inspire you to more expansion.
  5. Meditate and visualize.  Set yourself (and your brain) up for success by meditating and visualizing at the start and end of your day.  Both meditating and visualizing train your brain to think differently about things.  This period of your day is a strong affirmation of self-love because it says that you care enough, and believe enough in your Self and your dreams to dedicate a part of your day to their well-being.  Just like with a child, quality time is transformational and life-affirming.  Meditation comes in many different forms and you can choose how you want to use it in this process of changing your neural pathways.  You might use meditation as a reflective tool, where you sit quietly and reflect on the new neural pathway– why you want it, why it serves you.  This can be a great way to commune with your Spirit Guides to give you deeper insight into your life purpose.  You can also use a silent mind meditation where you practice halting your thoughts and just enjoy the absolute peace and serenity of a mind that is turned off. This is immensely satisfying and restful for the mind and body.  Visualizing can also be used to create the pleasing sensations in your body that act as strong points of attracting the things that you desire. For example, visualizing yourself running a marathon with ease creates a sense of elation in your body and mind and will leave you excited and ready to move!  Likewise, visualizing a loving intimate relationship will warm your heart and cause you to glow from the inside out. Your brain and your body both LOVE this and it’s along these lines that you want your new neural pathways built.
  6. Treat yourself lovingly.  Changing a neural pathway is a powerful step not only because of the benefits you receive, but also because of the Shadow it enlightens.  Many of the neural pathways that no longer serve us were formed to protect us in some way.  They were formed to give us comfort when we were lonely, or to give us grounding when we were confused, or to distract us from fear or even terror. This means that inside of us is a wounded or frightened individual that has been hiding within a behavior.  Treat that person like you would a traumatized child– with tremendous compassion and care.  Your own reaction to this inner being will tell you a lot about the nature of the neural pathway.  So pay attention to how you feel about yourself as you explore your inner world.  If you find yourself revolted or ashamed by this fragile being, you have an opportunity to awaken to other subconscious personalitites that exist inside of yourself that may want healing.  Shadow Work and Healing can help you integrate all of your fractured selves.
  7. Change your focus.  When you’re changing a neural pathway, you want to affirm what you desire by creating new pathways that are trained to give attention to what you want.  You probably have a neural pathway that is actively focusing on what you don’t want.  You want to change your brain’s tendency by giving it a new focus.  In your plan, you can create a list of positive things around your desire that excite you when you focus on them.  For example, if you are wanting to change a neural pathway where you hide from intimate romantic relationships, you might want to have the heart as a point of focus whenever potential romantic partners are present.  This way, when you find yourself in the presence of potential partners, your brain can focus on expanding your heart rather than repeating the same inner dialogues of, “I’m not his type,” or “She’s going to reject me,” or “I’m not attractive.”  Using a vision board is also a good way to give yourself another point of focus.  Your vision board can have a picture of you receiving positive attention from romantic partners.  This will give you a reminder of your desire and bring you a point of positive focus.  Music is also a great distraction.  Have a playlist made of some inspiring songs that provide a counterpoint to old habit you want to transform.  Just the act of choosing a song is a great distraction to the old habit that is trying to force its way into your mind.
  8. Address your problems:  When a problem arises in my mind, address the problem consciously.  For example, if there is a real financial issue that needs your attention, then give it your attention.  Call your creditors and make payment arrangements.  Make a budget.  Ask for a raise.  Get a second job.  Do whatever you have to do to actively alleviate the physical burden of the situation.  Ignoring a problem is very different than allowing a solution to flow to you.  Ignoring a problem is an act of resistance that comes from fear in the subconscious mind.  Take care of your business.
  9. Be consistent.  Neural pathways form from repetitive actions.  Reaching for pot once at the end of a long day is not going to form a neural pathway.  Consistently doing it is.  Reaching for a positive outcome one time is not going to change a neural pathway.  Consistently reaching out toward the thing that you desire is going to create a new neural pathway and a new habit.
  10. Set a timer.  One of the most consistent excuses I hear from clients is that they forgot that they were working to break an old habit.  They were good for the first two days, and then the motivation left them.  Setting a timer to focus on what you want is a practical way to give yourself five minutes in the middle of the day to clear discordant energy from your mind, body and aura, and to focus on your desires.  It’s super effective, too!  I began this practice years ago and I now have a solid neural pathway that makes me pause at several points of the day just to simply check in with my body and my emotions.  This keeps me super aware of my authentic truth and aligned with the things that serve me.
  11. Appreciation.  It’s always easy to find appreciation for the lovely htings in our lives.  But it’s not so easy to find appreciation for the dark things.  Let’s say that your years of compulsive eating have you 50 pounds overweight and feeling pretty crappy about yourself.  It’s not easy to look at your body and appreciate the fat that has accumulated around your belly– especially since you have built a neural pathway that automatically triggers you to feel ashamed and anguished every time you think about your belly.  Finding appreciation for the belly fat is a powerful way to turn this negative thought pattern upside down.  It will also do wonders for your self-esteem.  For example, by doing Shadow Work, you might discover that when you were a little kid, eating cookies and hot dogs gave you tremendous comfort when you were lonely.  When you choose to appreciate cookies and hot dogs for what they offered you, start to develop a tenderness toward the Inner Child who needed those things.  This is a really powerful neural pathway to develop because it totally empowers your self-acceptance and self-love.  Many people think that if they appreciate what’s negative in their lives that they’re actually condoning it.  But in my personal experience, and what I’ve noticed with my clients is that when you start having appreciation for what’s negative, it ceases to be a problem and then the mind stops focusing so much on it, so there’s less emphasis on the issue, not increased emphasis.  Very often, you’ll start to notice that you’re carrying around less resentment and since compuslive behaviors actually feed emotions like resentment, you’ll find that you’re less hungry for the compulsion that feeds it.  This is genuine healing– not a bandaid quick fix.

Step 15:  Go and rock that shit.  Live the life of your dreams.  If you need help with any of this, then call me or email me:

Watch the video process by Teal Swan…

Here I am! Eccomi qui!

Florence, Italy


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