Trusting in Spirit: Apollo Runs Away, Part I

The dramatic landscape where I got separated from my precious boy…

God and my entire Spirit Guide Team is working REALLY hard to show me that I am totally supported and that fear is not needed in my life anymore.

Yesterday afternoon at about 3:45, Apollo and I started out on a hike in the hills. At 4:05, we were heading home, and as usual, he was a few yards ahead of me. I saw him go up and over a hill and then I lost sight of him because the peak covered the view.

I was hit with a very strong message that said, “There is only one thing over which you have control–your breath.”

I inhaled deeply and contemplated the message. I thought that it was true and in that moment I surrendered to it completely.

As I reached the peak of the hill, I looked to my right and saw Apollo’s brown bottom disappearing into the thicket after something– probably a rabbit.

I called to him and when he didn’t respond, I used the beep signal on the electric collar, which normally is enough to bring him back. When that didn’t work, I used the light shock and then dialed it all the way up. I NEVER have to do that! I think that the collar was not working, although it was charged up.

My dog was gone.

The area we cover on our walks is vast and hilly. Getting around it is cumbersome because there are few trails and the sections are cut off by deep and thorny brambles.

So now, I’m gonna try to make a long story short. My egoic self, my personality, wanted to create a crisis and started painting bad scenarios of Apollo’s demise. My egoic self was terrified of losing its treasure and so it wanted to get the upper hand by creating tragedy in its mind so it wouldn’t be shocked by the real thing. Ego’s job is to protect itself so creating negative stories is one way it does this. It gives a sense of power and control.

The thing is, I am not my ego. I am the consciousness that is connected to Source energy. At any given moment, I have choice to see situations through the eyes of Source or through the eyes of ego. Ego was very compelling as it kept elevating my heart rate and clouding my brain. I really had to fight to stay in the Light.

I recalled the message I received as I was walking up the hill— “There is only one thing over which you have control–your breath.” I repeated that and it became a mantra that helped me stay focused.

I also used my Tarot cards to help me stay grounded and focused on God. They confirm and guide my intuition. The first card suggested that Love is the great healer. That inspired me to breathe into my heart and think about the love I have for my dog.

So I walked around breathing into my heart space and trying to keep my mind off the bad scenario my ego was painting. I still didn’t find him, so I pulled another card to ask what direction I should take. After ignoring the message of this second card, I wandered around some more.

I finally took the advice of that second card, which said that I should make a decision. It said, “You are being called to account for your actions. It is time to make a decision, but not out of reaction. Your task is to act with the honesty and integrity demanded by Justice.”

My ego jumped on this and said, “You should never let him off leash. You are irresponsible! You should have trained him better. Now you are losing your dog because of your bad actions!”

I stepped back from this dialogue for a moment to think about what my ego was saying and I realized that it didn’t resonate with me. So I responded to ego, “I totally understand why you feel this way, Ego. Apollo and I are in a loving relationship. Our hearts are our true leash. I have 100% faith in that.”

I looked back at the card and I heard another voice in my head rise up and say, “You are being called to account for your actions. What actions have you been taking these last few weeks? You have been taking action to shake off your dependence on the material world. You have been taking actions to follow your heart and trust that God and your Spiritual Guidance Team is leading you. You have been taking the actions of a woman who has faith in the unseen. It is time to make the decision to trust the Spirit world. You know that this material world is just a mask for truth. Justice is about the Truth. Which truth do you believe? God’s Truth of protection and love? Or ego’s truth of lies, deceit and limited perception?”

In that moment, I realized that Apollo and I are 100% protected and that it is not the time for either one of us to get hurt or to die. This is an opportunity for me to use my power to create in the material world.

My life’s work is about disregarding the lies of ego and the material world and instead, living the Truth of the Divine. I decided in that moment to surrender fully to the Divine part of ME! I stopped thinking and started feeling. In that moment, my ego totally recessed to the back of my mind, my steps stopped being driven by egoic determination and started getting lighter and slower. I wandered the muddy fields breathing into my heart and connecting to the trees, the earth, the birds, and the fresh air. I kept my beloved Apollo at the forefront of my mind. I saw his sweet eyes, his precious nose and his gorgeous little body.

While wandering, every once in a while, I drew another card to check in and make sure this was the right approach. The cards I drew all indicated that I was on the path of a huge awakening. They spoke of lies being revealed and deceits being overturned. I was learning the Truth.

Finally, I got to one point in the road, and a feeling came into my heart. I drew a card and it was the Magician. The words read, “It is about grasping the unseen around you and harnessing it to become reality, drawing forth the ineffable into the material realm of existence.”

In that moment, I paused and called upon the mystical part of myself. I started loudly speaking in tongues and using my hands to shape Apollo. The words came to me– “returning home safe and sound.”

I left that spot and headed for home, KNOWING that my dog was going to return home safe and sound.

I took a few steps and looked ahead at a large puddle and thought it was Apollo. It was Spirit messing with the land to give me a message. I called Apollo and then the shadow became just a shadow again. I continued walking and I heard a yelp coming from behind me. I turned around and looked to the spot where I had before conjured my spell. I couldn’t see anything, but I listened, and heard the thundering of paw steps.

Guess who came running down the hill to me, scared, confused and soaking wet? Apollo!

We embraced and then we ran home because it was dark and cold and we were both elated to have been reunited.

The moral of the story is this: My Spiritual Guidance Team knew exactly what I needed to reach the next step of my Spiritual Evolution. I needed to know that this material world is formed by the inner world. I needed to KNOW that I do have power in this world, but it’s not the power of money, a big house, a great job or any material trapping. My power lies in the Spirit world and in the right use of my mind in the material world. The right use of my mind has nothing to do with following my ego and fear. The right use of my mind is to always identify with the Truth. God loves us and is always helping us, along with our Spiritual Guidance Team. Ego’s fears are ego’s. We do not have to take them on. We do not have to let them lead us.

Look, ego is going to chatter away. Treat it like you would a child you love and appreciate, but don’t give it the steering wheel so it can drive your car. You would never let a child drive your car! Pull over for a moment, talk to ego to calm it. Listen to its fears and then you, as the adult, put its fears into perspective. Ego wants to be heard, but you do not have to act on its story. After validating ego’s fears with kindness, let ego know that you’re going to turn back to God/Goddess/Source of All and be lead by this Higher Power. And then follow through with your promise. Follow your intuition and your heart. Put your money where your mouth is and trust God, the Universe and yourself. You are in such good hands, People!

The picture shows the landscape where Apollo and I had our adventure. By the way, if I decide that I’m going to change my name again, I’m going to change it to Artemis. 


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Here I am! Eccomi qui!

Florence, Italy


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