Trusting in Spirit: Apollo Runs Away, Part II


My work is not my baby. I don’t have to hold onto all of it and make something of everything I’ve ever written. I can let stuff go.

I can start fresh with new ideas and new work and new programs and go with the level of integrity that reflect where I am today. My inventions will go where they go.

I am a fucking modern day artist!

I am not constrained by rules and limited perspectives of success.

I’m writing a book today and tomorrow I may not be writing a book. Okay. I am 90 pages into my book. I wanna finish this book. But if I don’t, who cares? I am on this Earth enjoying the moments that unfold around me.

My dog ran away after another bunny rabbit AGAIN today. You know what I did? I fucking sat still and meditated. When Spirit told me the direction I should go, I went. When I got there, I found my dog. We walked home and I picked the ticks off him and then I cleaned my house.

I’m now having a glass of wine, making some soup and then I’m gonna write some more. I am Divinity having the human experience of the artist formerly known as Crystal Lynn Bell and Keicher Payne. But you know what? You can now call me Artemis. Artemis Bell. Because that vibration is high. 44.

By the way, when Apollo ran away, it was immediately after he ran through this Faery Circle. I was totally asking for trouble.

He ran past the circle and when I called him to me, I saw that he was gonna run through it. I tried to divert him, but nope! He went right through it and then he went crazy, running after rabbits!

Look, here’s how available Spirit is for us. I looked to the heavens as I saw his skinny ass running away and I said, “Beloved Universe this is the Death card in action. I am totally being initiated into my new existence!” I went to my Tarot deck and pulled the Death card. What does it say? “Initiation and Transformation.” SNAP.

After meditating and making my way to the spot Spirit told me to go, I sat and waited a little longer and then I said, “It’s time to make a decision. I decide to go home and take my laundry back inside because it’s getting cloudy.” I took another card and it was the reversed Five of coins. If you look in the background of the card, you’ll see a skinny ass dog chasing a rabbit.

Right side up, that card means devastation. Upside down, as it came for me, means “A turning point; emerging from a difficult period. Reconciliation as those who have done seek re-inclusion in the group or family”… or PACK. After I drew that card, I called Apollo’s name and guess what? He came running down the hill looking shame faced.

I was not surprised. And that means, I am healed. I no longer doubt Spirit or myself. Okay. I still need to listen better. But you know what? This is a process. I’m not dying until after I’ve reached 94 years. That’s plenty of time to work this stuff out.


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Here I am! Eccomi qui!

Florence, Italy


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